I have put this
very gently to Mr. Crisparkle, for you know his self-denying ways;
but still I have put it. What I have laid much greater stress upon
at the same time is, that I am engaged in a miserable struggle with
myself, and that a little change and absence may enable me to come
through it the better. So, the weather being bright and hard, I am
going on a walking expedition, and intend taking myself out of
everybody's way (my own included, I hope) to-morrow morning.'
'When to come back?'
'In a fortnight.'
'And going quite alone?'
'I am much better without company, even if there were any one but
you to bear me company, my dear Helena.'
'Mr. Crisparkle entirely agrees, you say?'
'Entirely. I am not sure but that at first he was inclined to
think it rather a moody scheme, and one that might do a brooding
mind harm. But we took a moonlight walk last Monday night, to talk
it over at leisure, and I represented the case to him as it really
is. I showed him that I do want to conquer myself, and that, this
evening well got over, it is surely better that I should be away
from here just now, than here. I could hardly help meeting certain
people walking together here, and that could do no good, and is
certainly not the way to forget. A fortnight hence, that chance
will probably be over, for the time; and when it again arises for
the last time, why, I can again go away.
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