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Roosevelt, Theodore, 1858-1919

"Hunting the Grisly and Other Sketches"

There was a boom on the town and it looked pretty slick.
There was two hotels and I went into the first, and I says, 'Where's the
justice of the peace?' says I to the bartender.
"'There ain't no justice of the peace,' says he, 'the justice of the
peace got shot.'
"'Well, where's the constable?' says I.
"'Why, it was him that shot the justice of the peace!' says he; 'he's
skipped the country with a bunch of horses.'
"'Well, ain't there no officer of the law left in this town?' says I.
"'Why, of course,' says he, 'there's a probate judge; he is over
tendin' bar at the Last Chance Hotel.'
"So I went over to the Last Chance Hotel and I walked in there.
'Mornin',' says I.
"'Morning',' says he.
"'You be the probate judge?' says I.
"'That's what I am,' says he. 'What do you want?' says he.
"'I want justice,' says I.
"'What kind of justice do you want?' says he. 'What's it for?'
"'It's for stealin' a horse,' says I.
"'Then by God you'll git it,' says he. 'Who stole the horse?' says he.


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