Finally I asked myself why it was that I
persisted, and persisted, and persisted in thinking about a thing like
this, when my judgment told me that I should instantly dismiss the whole
affair from my mind, and employ my thoughts on something sensible; and
to this I gave the only answer which I made to any of the inquiries I
had put to myself. That was that I did not know why this was so, but it
was so, and there was no help for it.
Walking home from the station quite late at night, the question which
had so much troubled me suddenly resolved itself, and I became convinced
that the change in the manner of my secretary was due to increased
pressure of the rules of the House of Martha. I would not, I could not,
believe that a fit of pique, occasioned by my apparent want of interest
in her, could make her thus cold and even rude. She was not the kind of
girl to do this thing of her own volition. It was those wretched rules;
and if they were to be enforced in this way, the head of the House of
Martha should know that I considered the act a positive discourtesy, if
nothing more.
I was angry,--that was not to be wondered at; but it was a great relief
to me to feel that I need not be angry with my secretary.
XX.
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