" The high-spirited bride had the honor of living to be the
wife of one President of the United States, and mother of another.
Another ingenious clergyman gave out one morning as his text, "Unto us a
son is born;" and thus notified the surprised congregation of an event
which they had been awaiting for some weeks. Another preached on the text,
"My servant lieth at home sick," which was literally true. Another, a
bachelor, dared to announce this abbreviated text: "A wonder was seen in
heaven--a woman." Dr. Mather Byles, of Boston, being disappointed through
the non-appearance of a minister named Prince, who had been expected to
deliver the sermon, preached himself upon the text, "Put not your trust
in princes." But Dr. Byles was one who would always "court a grin when he
should win a soul."
One minister felt it necessary to reprove a money-making parishioner who
had stored and was holding in reserve (with the hope of higher prices) a
large quantity of corn which was sadly needed for consumption in the town.
The parson preached from this appropriate text, Proverbs xi. 26. "He that
withholdeth his corn, the people shall curse him; but blessings shall be
upon the head of him that selleth it." As the minister grew warmer in his
explanation and application of the text, the money-seeking corn-storer
defiantly and unregenerately sat up stiff and unmoved, until at last the
preacher, provoked out of prudence and patience, roared out, "Colonel
Ingraham, Colonel Ingraham! you know I mean you; why don't you hang down
your head?" In a similar case another stern parson employed the text,
"Ephraim is joined to his idols, let him alone;" though the personalities
of the sermon made unnecessary the open reference in the text to the
offender's name.
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