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Bennett, Arnold, 1867-1931

"The Plain Man and His Wife"

Never travel
in the same train with Mr. Omega."
"Never travel in the same train with him? Why not?"
"Because if there were a railway accident, and you were both killed on
the spot, the world might draw comparisons between the effect on your
family and the effect on his, and your family wouldn't like it."
We remained silent for a space, and the silence was dramatic.
Nervously, I looked out of the window.
At length Alpha said:
"I suppose there is such a thing as the happy medium."
"Good-bye, Alpha." I rose abruptly. "Sorry, but I've got to go at
once."
And I judiciously departed.


IV - IN HER PLACE

I

The plain man is not always mature and successful, as I have hitherto
regarded him. He may be unsuccessful in a worldly sense; but from my
present point of view I do not much care whether he is unsuccessful in
that sense. I know that plain men are seldom failures; their very
plainness saves them from the alarming picturesqueness of the abject
failure. On the other hand, I care greatly whether the plain man is
mature or immature, old or young. I should prefer to catch him young.
But he is difficult to catch young. The fact is that, just as he is
seldom a failure, so he is seldom young.


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