DELIBERATION, n. The act of examining one's bread to determine which
side it is buttered on.
DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away
the sins (and sinners) of the world.
DELUSION, n. The father of a most respectable family, comprising
Enthusiasm, Affection, Self-denial, Faith, Hope, Charity and many
other goodly sons and daughters.
All hail, Delusion! Were it not for thee
The world turned topsy-turvy we should see;
For Vice, respectable with cleanly fancies,
Would fly abandoned Virtue's gross advances.
Mumfrey Mappel
DENTIST, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth,
pulls coins out of your pocket.
DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support
which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
DEPUTY, n. A male relative of an office-holder, or of his bondsman.
The deputy is commonly a beautiful young man, with a red necktie and
an intricate system of cobwebs extending from his nose to his desk.
When accidentally struck by the janitor's broom, he gives off a cloud
of dust.
"Chief Deputy," the Master cried,
"To-day the books are to be tried
By experts and accountants who
Have been commissioned to go through
Our office here, to see if we
Have stolen injudiciously.
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