" This, however,
appears to give an unsatisfactory solution.
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who
does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of
the party.
NEWTONIAN, adj. Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented
by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but
was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so
far as to be able to say when.
NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but
Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.
NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable
annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to
understand it.
NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious
to incur social distinction and suffer high life.
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief
product and authenticating sign of civilization.
NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To
put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting
of the opposition.
NOMINEE, n. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of
private life and diligently seeking the honorable obscurity of public
office.
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