The animalism that is so generally present in a
boy physically strong took possession of him, and would not tolerate
any divided allegiance. It declined to permit his life to be a thing of
mingled enjoyments, now rejoicing in the leaping desires of the body, now
disregarding them for the aspirations and clear contentments of the mind.
It seemed vengeful, like a man long kept fasting against his will, and
having at last come into its empire made that empire an autocracy, a
tyranny. Julian had passed at a step from one extreme to another, and had
already so lost the habit of following any mental process to a conclusion
that he could no longer think clearly with ease, or observe himself with
any acuteness. He was for the time all body, knew his muscles, his flesh,
his limbs, like intimates; his mind only distantly, like a stranger. With
passion, with greed, he had seized on all those pleasures which he had
previously feared and shunned, until his brain was heavy as is the brain
of a glutton and a drunkard, and his mind stepped in any direction with a
languid lethargy. So to-night he had the face of a man puzzled as he
walked in the frost under the stars.
Once the hint of some power lurking in Cuckoo had thrilled and awed
him, as only a certain clearness--a certain receptive, appreciative
clearness--can be thrilled and awed.
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