. . .
So long as he stuck to his dream he must at any rate set his face
absolutely against the establishment of any further relations with
women.
Unless they were women of an entirely different type, women hardened
and tempered, who would understand.
9
So Benham was able to convert the unfortunate Mrs. Skelmersdale into
a tender but for a long time an entirely painful memory. But
mothers are not so easily disposed of, and more particularly a
mother whose conduct is coloured deeply by an extraordinary
persuasion of having paid for her offspring twice over. Nolan was
inexplicable; he was, Benham understood quite clearly, never to be
mentioned again; but somehow from the past his shadow and his legacy
cast a peculiar and perplexing shadow of undefined obligation upon
Benham's outlook. His resolution to go round the world carried on
his preparations rapidly and steadily, but at the same time his
mother's thwarted and angry bearing produced a torture of remorse in
him. It was constantly in his mind, like the suit of the
importunate widow, that he ought to devote his life to the little
lady's happiness and pride, and his reason told him that even if he
wanted to make this sacrifice he couldn't; the mere act of making it
would produce so entirely catastrophic a revulsion.
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