At any rate I find myself doubtful to this day about my
own personal systems of right and wrong. I can never get all my
life into one focus. It is exactly like examining a rather thick
section with a microscope of small penetration; sometimes one level
is clear and the rest foggy and monstrous, and sometimes another.
"Now the ruling ME, I do not doubt, is the man who has set his face
to this research after aristocracy, and from the standpoint of this
research it is my duty to subordinate all other considerations to
this work of clearing up the conception of rule and nobility in
human affairs. This is my aristocratic self. What I did not grasp
for a long time, and which now grows clearer and clearer to me, is
firstly that this aristocratic self is not the whole of me, it has
absolutely nothing to do with a pain in my ear or in my heart, with
a scar on my hand or my memory, and secondly that it is not
altogether mine. Whatever knowledge I have of the quality of
science, whatever will I have towards right, is of it; but if from
without, from the reasoning or demonstration or reproof of some one
else, there comes to me clear knowledge, clarified will, that also
is as it were a part of my aristocratic self coming home to me from
the outside.
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