A mate--not a possession. It is a need almost
naively simple. If only one could have a woman who thought of one
and with one! Though she were on the other side of the world and
busied about a thousand things. . . .
"'WITH one,' I see it must be rather than 'OF one.' That 'of one'
is just the unexpurgated egotistical demand coming back again. . . .
"Man is a mating creature. It is not good to be alone. But mating
means a mate. . . .
"We should be lovers, of course; that goes without saying. . . .
"And yet not specialized lovers, not devoted, ATTENDING lovers.
'Dancing attendance'--as they used to say. We should meet upon our
ways as the great carnivores do. . . .
"That at any rate was a sound idea. Though we only played with it.
"But that mate desire is just a longing that can have no possible
satisfaction now for me. What is the good of dreaming? Life and
chance have played a trick upon my body and soul. I am mated,
though I am mated to a phantom. I loved and I love Arnanda, not
Easton's Amanda, but Amanda in armour, the Amanda of my dreams.
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