During the intervening years he had never ceased to have her in his
mind; he would not think of her it is true if he could help it, but
often he could not help it, and as a negative presence, as a thing
denied, she was almost more potent than she had been as a thing
accepted. Meanwhile he worked. His nervous irritability increased,
but it did not hinder the steady development of his Research.
Long before his final parting from Amanda he had worked out his idea
and method for all the more personal problems in life; the problems
he put together under his headings of the first three "Limitations."
He had resolved to emancipate himself from fear, indulgence, and
that instinctive preoccupation with the interests and dignity of
self which he chose to term Jealousy, and with the one tremendous
exception of Amanda he had to a large extent succeeded. Amanda.
Amanda. Amanda. He stuck the more grimly to his Research to drown
that beating in his brain.
Emancipation from all these personal things he held now to be a mere
prelude to the real work of a man's life, which was to serve this
dream of a larger human purpose.
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