These
things that are at least more extensive than the interests of flesh
and blood have a trick of becoming unsubstantial, they shine
gloriously and inspiringly upon the imagination, they capture one
and isolate one and then they vanish out of sight. It is far easier
to be entirely faithful to friend or lover than it is to be faithful
to a cause or to one's country or to a religion. In the glow of
one's first service that larger idea may be as closely spontaneous
as a handclasp, but in the darkness that comes as the glow dies away
there is a fearful sense of unreality. It was in such dark moments
that Benham was most persecuted by his memories of Amanda and most
distressed by this suspicion that the Research Magnificent was a
priggishness, a pretentious logomachy. Prothero could indeed hint
as much so skilfully that at times the dream of nobility seemed an
insult to the sunshine, to the careless laughter of children, to the
good light in wine and all the warm happiness of existence. And
then Amanda would peep out of the dusk and whisper, "Of course if
you could leave me--! Was I not LIFE? Even now if you cared to
come back to me-- For I loved you best and loved you still, old
Cheetah, long after you had left me to follow your dreams.
Pages:
511
512
513
514
515
516
517
518
519
520
521
522
523
524
525
526
527
528
529
530
531
532
533
534
535