So far I have but cleared up for myself a project and outline of
living. I must begin upon these masses now, I must do what I can
upon the details, and, presently, I shall see more clearly where
other men are working to the same ends. . . ."
12
Benham's expedition to China with Prothero was essentially a wrestle
between his high resolve to work out his conception of the noble
life to the utmost limit and his curiously invincible affection and
sympathy for the earthliness of that inglorious little don.
Although Benham insisted upon the dominance of life by noble
imaginations and relentless reasonableness, he would never
altogether abandon the materialism of life. Prothero had once said
to him, "You are the advocate of the brain and I of the belly.
Only, only we respect each other." And at another time, "You fear
emotions and distrust sensations. I invite them. You do not drink
gin because you think it would make you weep. But if I could not
weep in any other way I would drink gin." And it was under the
influence of Prothero that Benham turned from the haughty
intellectualism, the systematized superiorities and refinements, the
caste marks and defensive dignities of India to China, that great
teeming stinking tank of humorous yellow humanity.
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